Grieving the End of a Relationship

A few years ago I read a post by Zoe Hendrix, whose partner had walked away from their relationship three years after they fell in love on Married At First Sight.

Here is a quote from her post:

“Have hope, knowing that it’s not the end of the world if someone doesn’t love you anymore… it’s only the end of the world, if you don’t love YOU anymore.”

What a powerful statement! None of us should make another person responsible for our happiness. There will inevitably be times during our lives when someone disappoints, betrays or abandons us in some way, but by working on loving ourselves we can all be comforted by the knowledge that we will be able to heal and move forward.

I was devastated when my husband of almost 25 years ended our marriage and it took me many years to be able to trust someone else with my heart. That didn’t happen until I had done a lot of work to see what part I had played in the demise of our relationship. I discovered that I had given him total power over my happiness and came to realise that this was both immature and unfair. When I felt ready I did meet someone new and I went into that relationship knowing that no matter what happened in the future I would always have me.

So take heart if you are grieving the loss of a relationship and give yourself time to learn who you are and believe that you are enough on your own. It’s human nature to want someone beside us who we feel is our soul mate. Someone who has our back, is our best friend, and will be there for us no matter what. But that should be the icing on the cake and we all need to know that we have the cake already because we love ourselves enough to weather any storm.

(c) Jane Gillespie

https://www.janegillespie.com.au/counsellor.html

 

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